Sacrificant
by Julietannika
Summary: AFTER ALLEGIANT: A few year after Tris is born, a small group of scientists success in something unheard of: creating a perfect Divergent. The girl is raised in a horrible place, surviving only because of her dreams of escape. When Tris dies, she makes a connection with the girl and they invent a plan. But what if the only way to save Tris is to destroy the finally healing world?
1. Prologue The end of something

Sacrificant

**A/N So this is my Divergent fanfic, actually my first fanfic ever. The story happens after Allegiant so it has spoilers. Also, English is not my native language so I'm sorry for the mistakes. I hope you review and tell me your opinions! The story is about a Divergent girl who has aptitude for every faction. The girl has been tortured she has been held as a hostage with the people who raise her. No-one but her best friend have ever loved her and still she hasn't lost hope. This is her story. This is also an alternative ending for Allegiant if you want to think it that way.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Divergent, but Juliet and her friends are all mine.**

Prologue (Juliet POV):

Can I be forgiven for all I've done?  
I want to be.  
I can.I believe it.

"Ahh!" I scream, waking up all sweaty in my bed. A painful headache hits me as I try to crawl myself back into the blanket mountain, - which, just seconds ago, felt warm and safe. A wild thought appears in my head and in another wave of almost unbearable pain, I get it. I was dreaming. Again. "Juliet!" I hear a shout and footsteps from the stairs but I feel myself too weak to answer. The pain is still inside of me, it's like I'm being stabbed with hundreds of knives but with the knowledge I'm going to make it while she... Isn't. The pain feels now also mentally, like I've lost a friend. A friend I've never met, though. But still a friend who has been there, as an act of rebellion in this cage I was born to.

A new wave of pain strikes my body as the door opens. "In the name of God, what are you doing in the middle of the night?" the guard, Alec, asks. I raise my eyebrows sarcastically. "Well, dunno, thought it would be fun to-" a pain stops my sentence and I start to cough. Alec looks nervous. He clearly doesn't know what to do. He's an idiot, but sometimes I feel pity for him. I mean, it's not his fault he hasn't been blessed with too many brain cells. I feel the urge to confort him despite my own situation. Moments like this, I really hate the Stiff in me. He looks at me and makes his desicion. "I'll call the boss", he says and I roll my eyes ignoring the pain. How astonishing. Sometimes I wonder where the Controller finds all the brainless servants like him. From the factionless, probably. "Hi, boss, um..." Alec starts to talk nervously to the phone. I try to eavesdrop the Controllers words, but all I hear is Alec's fearful mumbling. "Yeah, I know, I DO, but there's a problem. She seems sick. Very sick. Yes I know it... Shouldn't be, but... Yes I know. Allright. See you in five minutes. Bye." He closes the phone, gives me an unreadable look and walks away. I sigh and lay down.

Of course they're not going to tell me what's the matter with me, I mean, it would be just stupid. It's only about me and my condition, so why should I know anything? I try to push the pain away from my mind and wait calmly for the Controller to come. I know he'll come after he has spoken to Alec and he'll come alone, like he always does. As ironic as it sounds, I've sort of become his most trusted person here. He trusts me. Well, not me if we're being quite sure. He trusts himself and I am a part of him, he uses to tell. He trusts that I am selfless, kind, brave, intelligent and honest all at the same time. He trusts that he has created a perfect Divergent, a perfect weapon. But he's wrong. Yes, I have the aptitude for each faction and the personal ability which comes from that, but there's something the Controller has misunderstood: I can close out my aptitudes for some time. I don't have to be honest or kind or selfless all of the time. That's something I know and he doesn't and it gives me a spark of hope that one day, I'll be free.

"Can she hear us?" I hear Alec ask. "Of course she can't, stupid, there's a reason her walls are sound proof!" Ha, idiots. There's also a few reasons I have an aptitude for Erudite. For example, the ability to notice the soundproof walls in five seconds and make a few invinsible holes in them in four. "Do you know what this means, boss?" Alec continues ignoring the insult. "Yes I do know, but you, boy, you have no idea." Controller sounds tired, actually more tired than he usually does. "Well could you probably tell me? I need to know what it is so I can watch her better." "You don't need to know anything, boy, but if it makes you feel more important, I can tell you: Beatrice Prior is dead." Beatrice Prior, I think. The girl from my dreams has... had a name.

"Now, my dear Juliet, what is the problem of yours?" Controller asks and steps in. I suppress a shudder. I loathe this man more than anything, but there's no way for me to avoid being with him. I wince and say: "My head aches. I don't know what happened. I just woke up and there was just... pain." He looks at me grimly. "And there's nothing more? You didn't see anything coming? You didn't have… _a dream_?" "A dream? No, I haven't had any dreams since the medication started, why?" I lie fluently. He looks at me in disbelief, but then seems to remember that I am partly Candor and shrugs. "I just thought that maybe the girl from your earlier dreams was there again, asking for help or something", he answers. Now I don't need to fake my surprise. "Asking for _help_? How in the world would I be able to _help _her? I don't even _know _her!" I ask horrified. If there was any reason Beatrice Prior's death had been my fault, I couldn't ever forgive myself. The Controller just shakes his head impatiently. "No, you stupid girl, if you didn't have any dreams she wasn't asking for help. She probably doesn't even know that you exist. And there's nothing you could've done to help her anyway. She's most likely dead now." He looks satisfied as he says so. Now I feel even worse. She is dead and she was maybe asking for me to help her. _I'm sorry, Beatrice Prior. You were there for me but I wasn't there for you._

The Controller looks at me with amuse and then, without any warning, grabs my neck and kisses me passionately. He tastes like alcohol and junk food. His other hand holds me still while the other one starts taking my pants off. I feel pure hatred striking me, but he has done this all too many times for me to know that there's no escape. He pushes me to my bed and kisses me again, roughly. I close my eyes and try to close everything out of my head. I try to recall the rare good moments in my life. I remember the first time I met Ethan. I remember when we swore to each other to be best friends forever. I remember the first time he had brought me a book called Romeo and Juliet- I had been so fascinated that I had pecked him on the cheek. I think about the world of books, the princes, princesses, dragons, knights and the true love that is the most powerful magic of all. I dream about how someday a prince will come and save me while the Controller moves on me, breathing heavily.

When he's done he leaves me laying there, numb. I feel the urge to cry, but I fight back the tears. I won't spread my tears on him, he doesn't deserve them. I lay there for some time and then give up to the strengthening headache and fall asleep.

_But I'm not alone. There's a girl, about my size but older, with narrow face, blond hair which is just a little darker than mine and gray-blue eyes. _My _eyes. "Who are you?" She asks. She looks confused and upset. "I saw what he did to you. Why didn't you fight back?" I just look at her. "You're Beatrice Prior, aren't you?" I ask back. She looks even more confused and stares at me. "Yeah, how do you _know_ me? How do I not know you?" She keeps asking. Then her eyes turn dark. "I am dead, aren't I?" "Yes, I think so." I answer sadly. "I am sorry. And to answer your questions, my name is Juliet Shadowhunter. I don't have a real last name, but Ethan says that everybody needs one, so we decided I'd be Shadowhunter, because I love the stories about them. I know you, because when I was five years old I started having dreams about you. But one time the dream was different. You saw me too. We stared at each other and your brother told you to give me your jumping rope and you were embarrassed. I was really _there._ After that the Controller got really mad and gave me the medicines to stop dreaming. I haven't had any dreams about you since. Until tonight", I explain and she sounds fascinated. "_You_ were the little girl?" She asks and I nod. It feels really strange finally talking to her, the girl from my dreams. But it also feels kind of comforting. She is really there, in my head and the first time of my life I am not alone. "Do you have any idea what are you doing in my head? Not that I'd mind at all, but… It would be nice to know." I ask. She shrugs and looks thoughtful. "I am dead. I am with my mom and dad and Will has forgiven me and Marlene and Lynn are here too. But they're not _here_, are they? Maybe I am not as dead as them? Or maybe there's some sort of connection between you and me which makes me be alive and dead at the same time? Like I'm alive in your head?" She suggests. I nod, it sounds like the most logical option. "Well, welcome here, then. But why you and me?" I wonder. I know I can talk to people in coma but to dead? This is new. We kind of look alike. We have the same eyes. Could it be...? "Where have you inherited those eyes? Is your mom or dad strongly Divergent?" I quickly ask. She looks puzzled. "Well, I think my mother's mother had eyes like this… And my mom really is Divergent." She says. "Then", I start, "I think you're my big sister." Beatrice looks shocked, she surely wasn't expecting this. "No… That can't be… Mom could have never cheated dad. Especially", she adds with a shiver "with that guy." I raise my eyebrows. "What guy? And I didn't mean-"I start but she interrupts:" That slimy, evil man who made you to… You know, a while ago." She seems getting more and more red and then it hits me. "The Controller?! No, I mean defiantly NOT, no way, he's not like… my father, well he kind of is but really isn't. I don't have parents. And your mother didn't have to cheat your father to um, make me. They used her genes. She probably didn't even _know _about me." I almost laugh about Beatrice thinking the Controller was my father. Almost. But the thought is more disgusting than funny. Beatrice, however, looks pale. "How… What do you mean you don't have parents? Are they dead? And what has it to do with my mother?" She asks. I sigh. "How on Earth are you inside my head but can't dig the information out of me? This is exhausting. No, my parents are not dead. I don't have parents. Or I have many. However you want to think it. I wasn't born, I was _created_. The Controller told me that for decades small groups of scientists have tried to make a perfect Divergent, a perfect weapon. The Controller found a way to do it. He and his group took some of the strongest Divergent's DNA, somehow mixed it and, well… Ta-da, here I am! I was born in a test-tube in a laboratory. So, I don't have parents. I'm raised and teached by the Controller and his scientists. I loathe them", I tell. "Oh Juliet, I am so sorry!" She sounds terrified and sad for me. It's weird, no one really feels sad for me. Ethan is almost exactly in the same situation, dealing with the same assholes. And Beatrice is dead. She should be sorry for herself, not me. Although maybe it was wonderful to be dead, I don't know. "But you shouldn't be, Beatrice", I tell her. "It's not your fault and you've kind of helped me to survive. You were in my dreams and I got strength from them. Thank you. How is it like to be… dead?" I ask before I can stop myself. Damm it you Candor-mouth Erudite-curious girl! But Beatrice just seems thoughtful. "It's good to hear that I've been help. And I thought being dead was more peaceful and that I'd accept it but now… I don't think I should be here in your head permanently. I mean that I'm trouble for you. You can't fall in love without me there. I'll see everything. I'll become a part of you. And there's something I desire." She blushes as she speaks. "I wouldn't mind, it's nice to have some company for a while. But I understand your point. What do you desire; can I get it for you?" I ask. She smiles and blushes even more. "Four", she says. "Tobias Eaton". I raise my eyebrows. "I have always wanted to escape, and that I shall do. But that will take time and we need to make sure the factions will stay- at least partly." I tell her. "Why?" She asks. "Because I will be Dauntless."_

The first thing I do when I wake up is to send Ethan a short text.

_We gotta get outta here. The dead dream girl is in my head. We have a plan._

_-Jul_

Beatrice Prior smiles in my head.


	2. Choosing Ceremony

**A/N: I didn't get any reviews but I'm still writing more. But please, please tell me if you like/dislike this and why and what should I do. Tell me your opinions and ideas! And yes, this is a short one but I'll probably make the next one longer.**

3 Years later, Tobias POV

Today is the day for the first Choosing Ceremony in 3 years. I've been asked to be there, not as a political leader but as a Dauntless prodigy. My job is to watch over the new initiate's training and help the instructors, Zeke and Christina. I believe they could do the training well even if I wasn't there but this year there will be not only 16-year-old but 17- and 18-year old initiates as well. So, now I watch in the front row as our new President starts to speak. "This year", she starts "we've finally decided about the factions and the factionless. You have all taken the aptitude tests which have shown you which faction you belong to. You might be brave Dauntless, intelligent Erudite, kind Amity, selfless Abnegation or honest Candor. However, you don't have to choose any faction if you don't want to. You will join the sixth faction, the new center of the city. Also, if you fail your initiation, you can join us. We don't have strict rules and you can be yourselves. We make our own food like every faction does. We're not inferior to the other factions, but neither are we superior. Those of you that want to join us, make a line to the door." She quits. I nod; this is how I thought it would be. I watch a bunch of teenagers make a line to the door and leave with the President.

Johanna walks to the speaker. "Now", she says "let's get started." She looks at her paper, clears her throat and calls:" Angelina Mathews!" A small, brunette girl walks to her nervously, takes the offered knife and cuts her hand. She walks to the Abnegation's new bowl and lets her blood drop to the stones. I feel good about her choice; Abnegation really needs a lot of new people. The Abnegation table just smiles at her warmly. I watch how people choose their factions and I start to get a little bored. Next one is a tall, really blond girl who walks confidently to the Dauntless bowl. She wears all black clothes but I don't remember her being Dauntless. She doesn't look that happy. The only time I see her smile is when a black-haired boy joins Dauntless and steps in the line after the girl. _A couple?_ _Oh God, I hate training couples. Poor Christina. _I wait for the Ceremony to end and head to the group of Dauntless initiates. "Ok pansycakes", I shout, "Let's go!" I start running to the train tracks and watch the group follow me. I run faster and see the train come. Some of the initiates look nervous, some look exited. I run to the first train car and jump in. The initiates probably jump into the second or third one, I think. I listen to the train whistle and fall in my thoughts.

The train slows down and I jump out. Christina and Zeke are standing there, grinning. "So, Four? How are the children?" Christina asks. I sigh. "A bunch of pansycakes, really. I go down now and you can introduce yourselves. I'll mark the jumpers and stuff", I say. Zeke nods and Christina looks exited. She has always wanted to train initiates and this is her chance. I take the stairs and go down to the net, waiting for the first jumper. To be honest, I didn't pay attention when—whoop. A black silhouette falls down. It's the unhappy girl, I realize and offer her my hand. She grabs it, gets out of the net and flashes me a smile. Well, maybe she isn't that much a drama queen, I think. "What's your name?" I ask her and she looks confused. I smile, there's something familiar in this situation. "Think about it. You don't get to pick again." I say and half-smile. She looks at me, smiles, and something flashes in her eyes. _Those eyes! Could it be?_ "Juli", she answers. "My name is Juli".

When all of the people have jumped, Christina and Zeke come to me. Zeke clears his throat. "Okay, pansycakes, you've already met me and Christina but this hot piece of ass is Four. I and Christina will be your instructors and Four will be watching over the initiation." He says. I grin, Zeke has his ways. "Why do you keep calling us pansycakes? And why does he have a number as a name?" someone asks. Christina turns to her. "Do you have a problem with that, pansycake?" she asks back. "N-no ma'am", the girl answers turning red. Christina stares her grimly. "What is your name?" she asks her. "It's… Lise" the girl mumbles. "Well, Lise, the first thing you'll learn here is to keep your mouth shut! We don't need your opinions. Got it?" She asks. "Yes, ma'am!" I can't help but grin. Christina was exactly the same three years ago. In the corner of my eye, I see Juli whispering something to the dark-haired guy and laughing. I think about her eyes. _Was I hallucinating? Maybe the lights just were too bright-,_ "Sadly", Zeke interrupts my thinking "this is the time to split up. All the Dauntless born come with me, transfers with Christina. Four, where'd you like to go?" He asks me. "To bed. I'm tired", I answer grinning. "You are such a lazy ass, you know that? Well, Christina, take your initiates and I'll take mine. That lazy bastard is going to sleep." Zeke tells everyone. I laugh and walk to my apartment, but I don't really sleep. I think about the blond girl with my Tris' eyes.


	3. Fortis, Sapiens, Libera

**A/N Soooo I still didn't get any reviews, but I wanted to continue the story anyways. I'm happy for the follows and favorites I got, thank you! Anyways, here is the new chapter.**

Juliet POV

I lay in my bed thinking about everything. I had really done it. I am Dauntless now. Well, only after the initiation, I guess. But I'm going to pass the initiation, for sure. Not only because of my fighting skills that I've been taught since I was 5, but also because of the fact I have nowhere else to go. I need to success. I need to be Dauntless. _And you will_, Beatrice Prior thinks encouraging me. I sigh. It had been really stressful to sneak mine and Ethan's names to the list. Neither of us had gone to the aptitude tests, we didn't really need them. Ethan knew he was Erudite-Amity-Dauntless and I knew what I was. But if we had gone to the tests, somebody else would have known that also and that wasn't a part of the plan. And in the Ceremony I had been so nervous if we'd been noticed that I had almost fainted. But now I'm free. _And you're with him_, I think to Beatrice. I feel her smile curling on my lips_. Don't call me that_, she complains. She's a little annoyed but mostly just amused. _Beatrice is a pretty name. A princess name_, I think. _But I'm not a princess. And neither are you_. She sounds determined. I nod slightly. _No_, I admit. _I'm a warrior_.

"Hey, Jul-Jul!" I hear Ethan shout from the door. I show him the finger and shout back:" Call me that again and I promise I'll hang you from your balls to the ceiling!" He grins. "Sounds tempting, but maybe not this time. Anyways, I and Jake and Henry are going to get tattoos. Want to join?" I think about it for a second. A tattoo, huh? The Controller would have never allowed that. I grin. "Sure, why not?" I tell him and smile. He lets out a small laugh. "Knew you'd come, little rebel!" I roll my eyes. "Shut up! Are we going or are we not?" "Sure the hell we are!"

"So you're the first jumper, huh? What was it like?" A tall boy with brown hair and eyes, Henry, asks. I feel a little awkward; I've never been good around people. "Well, um, it was fun... I guess", I answer him. He smiles and flashes a smile. "Don't be so horrified, I'm not going to eat you!" He says looking amused. "Yeah", the other boy, Jake continues, "shouldn't you be Dauntless?" I feel a little annoyed_. If they only knew who you really are..._ Beatrice thinks angrily. _Well, they don't_. So, instead of showing my annoyance, I smile at them. "It's just... in the place that I come from, people really don't go get tattoos with people they've just met", I explain. Henry grins. "And which is that place? Abnegation?" "Or any other faction that Dauntless?" Jake adds and we start to laugh. "Ok hey come on guys, we should go now", Ethan laughs. I smile at him and nod. We walk to the tattoo shop and boys start to talk about which tattoos they want. I look at the list and wonder the same thing. All of a sudden a clear image comes to my mind. I smile; the tattoo I want to is unique and represents me well. "Hello", I say to the tattoo artist, "can I explain what kind of tattoo I want?"

After a few hours of work the tattoo artist is ready. She gives me a mirror and I look at my back. There are three animals: a howling wolf, a female lion and a phoenix rising from the flames. Under them are three words, words that mean everything in my life. Fortis, Sapiens, Libera. Brave, Wise, Free.

Also the boys are ready with their tattoos. Henry got a tiger on his arm, Jake got a hawk flying on his back and Ethan got flames on his both wrists. We're just about to get out of the shop, when we see a familiar guy walk in. "It's him, _Four_", Henry whispers. "You mean that hot piece of ass, right?" asks Jake, also whispering. Ethan chuckles and I grin. _Tobias… Can you please, please go to talk to him and tell him that I'm sorry and that I love him and I want to kiss him more than anything and I miss him, _Beatrice begs in my head. I sigh. _You know very well that I can't. He would never ever believe me, he would probably try to kill me for hurting him that much AND if he'd believe me, he'd even destroy the world to bring you back, _I think back. _But there is no way to bring me back, _is_ there? _Beatrice asks. _There may be…_ I answer._ What? How?!_ She's shocked and I feel it also myself._ By destroying the world. And you wouldn't get back _here;_ you'd maybe get back to the Bureau. And there's a 90-percent chance for both of us to die before that would be possible. You wouldn't remember anything. _I tell her. We're so close to my biggest secret, if we'll get any closer, I-_What in the world are you talking about?_

**FLASHBACK**

"You´re selfish, stupid, useless little bastard!" The Controller shouts and shoves me to the wall. I wince and try to tell him:" But I _try,_ I try really hard! I just can't!" I back the wall and fight back tears. It really isn't my fault that I can't teleport myself from one place to another, is it? We've been trying to figure out my 'personal skill' for months now. I can't break a glass with my thoughts nor change the weather using my mind. "You're useless! Nine years old and still you can't use your ability!" he shouts spitting to my face. "What if I don't have one?" I ask quietly. "You have to have it! That's what we created you for! Without the superpower you're as useless as… a genetically damaged little girl!" he yells. I shiver. "Are they really that bad?" I ask him mumbling. He seems to explode. He hits me hard on the forehead and the last thing I see before falling unconscious is his figure leaving me there.

"Jul! Julleyyy! Juliet!" I hear someone call somewhere above. "Et…han", I try to say. I open my eyes and see his face above mine, full of concern. "What did that jerk do this time?" he asks angrily. I hug his neck and start to sob. "Ethan… what is wrong with me? Why… can't I do anything… right?" I whine. He just holds me in his arms and hushes me. "There's nothing wrong with you, how many times do I have to tell? The Controller is just… mean. I can't teleport or read people's thoughts, and I don't think he can do it either. Why should you have to?" he comforts me. "Because", I start, "I'm a perf"-"ect Divergent, yes, I know. But do they have any proofs that you could do anything like that?" he asks. "No, I'm the first. But there are legends and physic deductions that I should be able for something special when I turn 10." I answer what the Controller has taught me. Ethan looks thoughtful and then something flashes in his eyes. "You know what? We'll change that information. I'm pretty good with computers. You should be able to do something that special when you turn_ sixteen._ Okay? We'll get you time", he decides. I hug him tighter. "But what do we do when I turn sixteen? It's not like he would give up on that…" I ask. "We're far from here when you turn sixteen", he says. "I promise." "I love you, Ethan", I tell him and smile. He chuckles and grins. "I love you too, Jul."

As he says so, I feel something warm inside of me-, something that I've never felt before and then everything that just happened suddenly flashes in my eyes. I feel dizzy and stand up and then I see the Controller beating- _me. _But I am here so how in the world can I be there at the same time? I hear the other me wince and say:" But I _try,_ I try really hard! I just can't!" and then it hits me. _This is my personal ability!_ I hide from the Controller and wait for Ethan to come and talk to me. I him say: "I love you too, Jul… JUL?! Where are –""I'm right here, calm down!" I say and step out from my hiding place. Ethan looks upset. "What on the Earth was _that?"_ He asks. "I don't know", I answer truthfully, "but I have an idea."

**END OF FLASHBACK**

_You can turn time?_


	4. Telling her

Juliet POV

**A/N: Yayy, I really like writing this! Thanks for the first review! ^.^ And I'm so so sorry for the short chapter, but I felt like I had to post **_**something**_** and short one is better than nothing.**

Juliet POV

You_ can turn time?_ Beatrice asks, sounding shocked. I can't really blame her. _Unfortu-_"Juli! Are you asleep?" Jake almost shouts and I startle._ I'll tell you later._ "Oh gosh, I'm so sorry! I got lost in a thought", I mumble quickly. "Yeah, that's what she does all the time", Ethan continues my story, a concerned look in his eyes. "Geez, you're such a dreamer", Jake sighs. I roll my eyes. "Whatever. What were you guys talking about?" "We were wondering if you knew what we're going to do at the initiation tomorrow, since Ethan told us you know everything", Henry tells me. I glance at Ethan. "I don't know everything. But, knives, I think. Or probably shooting", I guess. Jake and Henry look at each other. "She knows everything." I shrug. However they want to think it. "Hey", I hear a familiar voice say, "did you get new tattoos?" I turn around and face him. Four stands there, looking tired. Guess he really needs the sleep he's getting. Or maybe he doesn't sleep, maybe he lies. _Poor Tobias_, Beatrice thinks, _he's concerned about something._ Perhaps he is. "Yeah", I answer him as happily as I can. "Want to see, huh?" Jake asks grinning and raises his eyebrows flirtatiously. Henry looks scared, Ethan rolls his eyes. Four grins at Jake. "You remind me of someone. But you really should watch out your words, you might piss someone off. And sorry, I didn't come here to see your tattoos. I came to get a new one." He says. _What? He never got any new tattoos when I was… with him,_ Beatrice thinks. _You have to ask him what kind of tattoo he wants and why! _She decides._ But I don't want to. He's scary and I really don't give a fu-_"Oh, cool. What kind of tattoo do you want? Where? What does it symbol?" Jake asks cutting my thought. I sigh for relief, now I don't have to ask. Four raises his eyebrows. "You ask too much questions. Stop it. But if you can't sleep your nights without that knowledge, I'll get a raven on my heart. To symbol a family member I left behind. Now, go!"

_Tell me. Tell me everything,_ Beatrice demands when we get to the dormitories. I groan and slump on my bed. _Well,_ I start_, you saw it. I can go back in time._ She can't hide her excitement. _Does that mean you could go back and shoot David and save me? _She asks._ I haven't ever gone that far, there's like a thousand different risks in that. But theoretically, I could go there. About shooting David and saving you… I'm not sure. _I try to be as honest and kind with her as I can. I doubt if she understands every risk it would take. And in reality, the thought of going that much back in time frightens me._ What do you mean?_ She asks impatiently. The good thing about our connection is that Beatrice feels only the thoughts I feel at the moment, not the ones I've thought years before. I want to keep them only mine, to be honest. I don't want anyone, even her, to know I can even feel the way I've felt. _It would be changing the history. I have never done that. I don't know if it's possible. And returning three years in time… I don't know if I'd be sixteen or thirteen there. I don't know if you'd be in my head, I don't even believe you'd exist at all the way you exist now. Yes, there would be you, but would she be the real you? She would be three years…younger. And Four, Zeke, Christina, they'd all be younger too. Saving the other you would be like killing the entire world and not knowing if anyone will become the same way they're now. It might lead to a better world or it might lead to a catastrophe. It's a huge risk, but I am willing to take it for you, big sister. I just need you to understand that we might not survive even if we get there._ During my story, Beatrice Prior has listened to me without any interruption. Now she feels horrified. I'm sorry for her; I would defiantly not know what to do in her situation. _Juliet… I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry. I should have never asked you something like that. Please, forget I ever mentioned it._ I'm not surprised about her decision, but it's not like I'd agree with her. I have to be Dauntless and face my fear. It may even turn the world into a better place. _No. I won't. I'll keep training this time-turning. I won't give up on you. I have this feeling world with you is a better place than the one without you, _ I tell her and in that moment I know that's what I must do. I'll save my big sister, no matter what._ But tell me Beatrice, why don't you want me to bring your friends alive? _I continue. Her feelings are a total mess and she can't control them, but she manages to tell me, _They've found peace._


	5. Shooting things

**A/N Sooo I made this chapter not for the plot but for some good friendship moments. I want to write about Juli's relationships with people and I want to write about her so you can get to know her. I actually love hers and Ethan's relationship, they're best friends and they really need each other. I hope you forgive me for not writing yesterday and for not taking the plot forward, but personally I like this chapter. Hope you do too!**

Juli POV

"Wake up Ethan, it's time to go! Our training starts in 10 minutes!" I shout at the slowly moving blanket mass that seems to be my best friend. "Mhmm?" the mass answers quietly. "Everyone else has already gone! Argh, wake up you lazy ass, I'm not going to let you fail your initiation", I complain. "What's the time?" I hear him ask somewhere under all of the blankets and pillows. He slowly moves the pillow from the top of his head so I can see his face. "IT'S SEVEN FIFTY, YOU RETARD!" I yell at his ear. "Shit!"

We arrive to the training room at 8.00 and I sigh for relief. All of the other initiates are already there, including Henry and Jake. We walk to them, and I hear some giggles from some of the girl initiates. I look at them curiously and try to recall their names. They both seem to be older than me, which isn't a surprise. I'm probably the youngest initiate, though I don't look like one. I'm taller than some of the boys and most of the girls and I know I have curves because I can't wear any shirts without them showing. The girls probably think I'm their age and I don't think correcting their mistake will be necessary.

Christina walks in and clears her throat. "So, today you'll learn how to shoot a gun", she begins as she ties her hair into a ponytail. "What does shooting a gun have to do with bravery?" one of the boys, Richard, asks. "It has everything to do with bravery", I hear a deep male voice say "would you be able to shoot a person, a living creature? It demands huge bravery to shoot someone, but even huger not to shoot, sometimes", Four continues, as he walks closer to our group. "Hello initiates, I came here today to watch how you shoot", he says. "And to help me", Christina adds. "And to help you", he admits. Jake looks curious and asks, "Do you guys_ have _something?" I roll my eyes. Not the best way to put it, but I've been wondering the same thing. Has Four probably found someone while Beatrice has been in my head? _It would be completely understandable and I would be happy if he was, _Beatrice tells me. I sigh. Would I think that way if I was in her situation? Probably not. I'm not selfless enough. Four looks at Jake amused. "You really need to stop asking your questions", he says. Christina nods. "There is nothing between me and Four. We're just good friends", she tells. "But now, let's get started!"

I act like I'm listening Christina's advices but to be honest, I don't need teaching about shooting a gun. That's something I've been taught since I was like two years old. The thought of shooting still scares, no, horrifies me. I don't want to shoot anyone anymore. I'm tired of hurting people. But I have to pass Dauntless initiation, no matter what. I take the offered gun and inhale slowly. I can do this. I have to do this. I point the gun to the target, aim, close my eyes for a second and pull the trigger. The bullet lets out a small banging noise and for a while everything slows down. I hear a ringing noise and don't know where it comes from. The noise just gets louder and louder and I want it to_ stop_, when I feel a squeeze in my hand. The squeeze comes from another hand, hand that belongs to the only one I truly care about in this crazy world. "Put the gun down", Ethan says gently, "you did great. _Look._" I look: he is right. I did great. The bullet had gone straight to the center of the target. I had aimed perfectly. Like I always do. The ringing stops. I nod at Ethan. "It's good to know I haven't lost my aim", I admit. He grins and says, "Well, I think it should've been two millimeters more left. Bet you I could do waaay better!" "Is this a challeng-""Oh my god! Juli, how can you shoot like that? That's amazing; it was your first shot!" Henry shouts wide-eyed. I roll my eyes and grin. Henry truly has the ability to be happy for others. I like him, he's kind. Then I see Four and Christina walk towards us. My grin freezes. I did well; too well. They'll find out and they'll send me away and the Controller will find me and Beatrice will be stuck in my personal hell forever. I can't let that happen, I can't, I ca-"I have to say that I'm impressed", Four interrupts my silent panicking. "I've been training initiates for years but never seen one shoot like that in their first time", he continues. I try to smile at him innocently, but then Ethan opens his mouth:" Well, maybe because this isn't her first time." I glare at him in horror, but he doesn't even look at me. "We've been friends since she was five, and we have been practicing shooting together. We borrowed my daddy's old gun and spent hours practicing in fields. Those were good times, right Jul?" He smiles at me to strengthen his lie even more. I manage a nod and look away. He's a good liar, better than I can ever be. And again, he saves me from trouble. Christina looks at him interested and a bit suspicious. "Really?" she asks, "so can you then show me you can shoot as well as she can?" Ethan grins and looks so full of himself that I feel like shoving him. He takes the gun, aims and pulls the trigger. There appears a small hole in the center of the target. He looks like he's waiting for applause and seems very disappointed when no-one seems as impressed as they were when I shot. "You stole my attention, bitch!" he acts hurt at me. "Well, that bullet should've been 2 millimeters more _right_, if we're being exact", I answer grinning. Four raises his eyebrows thoughtfully. "Well, since you already know how to shoot, you can have free time if you want to." He says. "I think we'll stay here and help our friends", I answer him and flash a smile. He shrugs and walks to Christina and they start to talk in low voices.

I walk to Henry and watch him shoot. He's actually pretty good compared to the others. His bullets hit the target, but not even near the center. "I don't know what this gun's matter is, this is just so annoying!" he complains. "Henry, you're one of the best shooters here; don't underestimate yourself. All you need to do is calm down. You have to aim slowly so you get the touch; otherwise the bullets don't go where you want them to. Relax," I advise him, "breathe slowly and concentrate." He nods, re-loads his gun and aims. When he pulls the trigger, the bullet hits almost the center. He smiles at me gratefully. "Thank you so much, Juli!" he says happily and I grin. "No problem. You can offer me a dinner or something if you want to thank me. I like food", I joke at him. He laughs and rolls his eyes. "I'll keep that in mind."


	6. Tobias' idea

**A/N Here you are, a new chapter! My winter vacation just started and now I have more time to write. I hope you review! Aaand yeah I made this party-chapter because I thought that would be a good way to introduce my characters :)**

Tobias POV  
"Have you noticed anything special about that girl?" I ask Christina in a low voice. She watches how the initiates start to learn the basics about shooting and shrugs. "You mean something else than the fact she's a hell of a shooter? Nope. She looks pretty normal to my eyes. Though I have to admit she's... not exactly pretty but, well, good-looking. Not the way Elsie and Jess are, but there's something about her that makes people smile. Maybe it's her tomboy-attitude", she replies and lets out a small laugh.  
I look at her and raise my eyebrows. "Tomboy-attitude?"  
Christina rolls her eyes. "Are you blind or something? Look at her. She clearly doesn't care about her looks. She hangs out with her gang that includes that Ethan guy, Henry and Jake. And if you ask me, the other girls don't seem that pleased about it, especially Jess and Elsie."  
"How can you do that? You seem to know your initiates perfectly and you've known them for a day?" I ask her laughing.  
She grins. "I'm pretty good with people. I can also tell you that Sarah, Elsie and Mary have a crush on you. Jess and Britt drool over Henry and Lise is head over heels about Jake. Emily hasn't decided yet and George... do you want me to continue?"  
I shake my head laughing. "You're impossible. But tell me are Juli and Ethan together?" I expect her to laugh at my stupidity but she just wrinkles her nose and shrugs.  
"I don't know. It has been bothering me. Sometimes they act like couple but sometimes they act like siblings. For now I believe they're just friends." She admits.  
"I feel like Juli's hiding something. Not anything bad, but something big. At least I hope so." I say and regret my words a second later when Christina turns to me.  
"You hope so? Explain", she demands.  
I feel uncomfortable. I don't have any evidence for my words; all I've got is my weird feeling around her. It's like she knows more about me than she shows. It's like she knows about Tris and... It's like she knows everything that happened between us. And it's like a part of her wants to tell me.  
I need to get to know her.  
"Yeah, I have this theory she knows something about… _her"_, I tell Christina. I still can't say her name out loud, it's too painful. Christina looks at me carefully. "You know she isn't her. They have some similarities but she's not her. And I don't think there's a way she'd know her except if she comes from Abnegation and if you ask me, she clearly doesn't. Tobias", she says quietly and I know what's coming. "I think it's time for you to move on." "Have you moved on?" I ask her, sounding angrier than I meant, "Don't you see Will's ghost in your nightmares? Don't you wish you'd be with him? Isn't it hard for you to be with me, with Zeke or with Shauna when you only remember the people who are not here anymore?" Christina looks at me with angry eyes. "Of course I miss him! I miss him more than anything in the world and I miss Marlene, Lynn, Uriah and yes, I miss Tris too! You're not the only one. Don't you think that I want her back? But that is not possible! I try to move on and so should you!" she hisses. "That's none of your concern", I reply coldly. I don't want to be that mean to her but I don't want to listen to her either, because I know she's right. I should move on, but I am not ready. I might never be. Every time I try to think about moving on the image of Tris's dead body comes to my mind. I feel the urge to punch someone but I fight it back and look at Christina. She looks back and rolls her eyes. "We're being ridiculous", she says. I nod. "We should be training initiates, not arguing", I reply firmly.

We watch the initiates shoot at the target and I smile at the sight of Juli teaching another girl-initiate, Emily. She hasn't a clue about shooting but Juli is patient and shows her the right technique. Emily tries many times, until she finally hits the target and smiles at Juli. She returns the smile and they start to talk about something. I hear Emily's laugh and something inside of me desires to know what they're talking about. I want to get to know my initiates. "Christina?" I ask here attention. "Mhmm?" she replies. "Can you ask Zeke to arrange a party for the initiates?" I request. She looks at me like I've lost my mind. "Do _you_ want a _party_?" she asks suspiciously. When I don't answer anything her eyes start to shine. "Hey, everybody, listen to me for a moment! Tonight we'll have a party at Zeke's house and all of you are invited!" she shouts. I sigh. There's no backing up anymore. The initiates start to talk with excitement. They've probably heard about Dauntless parties. I watch Emily explain something to Juli and she nods. _Good_, I think,_ they're coming._

In the evening I walk to Zeke's and Shauna's house. Christina and some of the initiates are already there and Zeke seems to be already a little drunk. He notices me and starts to wobble towards me. "Four, my bro!" he says loudly, "I heard the party was your idea! Man, I'm glad to hear you haven't become a boring politician", he says and hugs me. I roll my eyes. "Yeah whatever, man, thanks for arranging the party", I thank him. "My pleasure, my pleasure. Shauna is somewhere here, Shauna, where are you?" he shouts. Shauna rolls to us and I look her in the eye. _I'm sorry, _I try to tell her with my eyes but she just laughs. Zeke clears his throat. "All right, everybody seems to be here. Now, let's play! Which game shall we play first?" he asks. Shauna whispers something in his ear and he grins. "Okay, Candor and Dauntless it is! I bet you pansycakes don't know the rules, so I'll explain this only once: someone asks you Candor or Dauntless; if you answer Candor you have to tell the truth about to the question you've been asked. If you answer Dauntless you have to do whatever the asker suggests you to do. If you're a total pansycake and can't answer or don't dare to do the suggested thing, you have to take one of your clothes off. Socks and shoes don't count." Zeke explains. Then he looks at me and grins. "Four, my bro, Candor or Dauntless?" "Dauntless." "Dare you to give a lap dance to one of your _male_ initiates!" Zeke says victoriously. Ugh, the image disturbs me and I wrinkle my nose. "I volunteer!" Jake shouts laughing and I shoot him a death glare. "_Fine._ I'll do it._" _I give Jake a quick lap dance and everyone starts to laugh. They roll on the floor and hold their stomachs and it looks incredibly ridiculous, even more ridiculous than my lap dance, I think. I wait for them to calm down and ask, "Juli, Candor or Dauntless?"


	7. Candor or Dauntless

**A/N so yeah, this is a basic C or D chapter, but I feel like it's important for knowing the characters. Thank you so much for the nice review! But I made a list about my characters and their ages and looks, here it is:**

**Juli is 16, she has very blonde, shoulder-length hair and gray-blue eyes. She's tall and normal-sized and she looks older than she is. She has some facial similarities with Tris.**

**Ethan is also 16, but half a year older than Juli. He has black, short hair and dark gray eyes. He's the same height as Juli, but he's skinny for a guy. He has narrow face and a wide mouth.**

**Henry is 18. He has brown hair and brown eyes. He's tall and muscular and he has pretty normal face.**

**Jake is 17. He's short but muscular. He has gray hair and green eyes and his shoulders are board. His face is narrow and his eyes are big.**

**Emily is 17. She has brown, long hair and she's almost as tall as Juli. She has the same body type with Juli and her eyes are blue.**

**Jess is 17. She has long brown hair, big brown eyes and a short, curvy body.**

**Elsie is 18. She has long blond hair and blue eyes. She's not short, but not tall either. **

**Richard is 17. He's tall, he has black hair and dark eyes. **

**Lise is 17. She has red, medium-length hair and green eyes. She's short and skinny.**

**YES, I have also other characters (Sarah, Britt, George, Mary…) but I'll introduce them when they start to speak something XD Anyways, hope you like this!**

"Juli, Candor or Dauntless?" Four asks me. I still don't know what a Candor-task would be, but lap dancing for sure isn't anything I'm good at.  
"Candor", I hear myself answer. I have many secrets but I don't think anyone could ask me the right questions to reveal them.  
"Noo, Juli! I wanted a lap dance from you, too!" Jake complains loudly. Four grins and thinks about his question for a moment.  
"What's between you and Ethan?" he finally asks. I'm not sure what he means. I look at Ethan who seems to be holding his laughter. Then I look at the space between us and don't really see anything.  
"Umm... air?" I answer him, probably looking perplexed. Everyone bursts out laughing and I feel myself blush. _What did I say wrong_? Even Beatrice feels like she's laughing. _What he meant to ask_, she explains, _is if you guys are dating._ Oh. _Oh. _  
"No, we're not dating, we're best friends!" I explain them quickly. They seem to accept the explanation, though some of them still giggle. I notice the two girls from earlier, Jess and Elsie. At least I finally remember their names. I suddenly get that it's my turn to ask. I look at the faces around me and grin.  
"Zeke, Candor or Dauntless?" I ask from the Dauntless instructor.  
"Dauntless for sure!" He shouts and looks at me with a challenging glare. I bet you can't invent anything difficult for me, his eyes seem to say.  
_Dare him to arrange himself a coronation, in which he will be crowned the Queen of Pansycakes_, Beatrice suggests. I grin. That sounds fun.  
"Kay, Zeke, you have to arrange yourself a coronation and let someone crown you the Queen of Pansycakes", I tell him and laugh. Everyone starts to laugh, especially Zeke's girlfriend in a wheelchair.  
"FUN!" Zeke shouts and gets up. "Four, you may have the honor of crowning me."

I watch as Zeke goes to his closet and digs out a plastic crown. He gives it to Four and clears his throat. "We've arrived here today to celebrate _me, _the most handsome, amazing and desirable male Dauntless in ages", he begins and I see his girlfriend roll her eyes, "to be crowned the Queen of Pansycakes. I am honored to be in this position and there are a few people I have to thank for this opportunity. First of all, my beloved girlfriend Shauna; you've been always there to have fun with me and you've never been a whining bitch and you're the best girlfriend ever", he grins while speaking. I roll my eyes. _Zeke has his ways to be romantic_, Beatrice Prior laughs in my head. "Of course I also have to thank my buddy Four whose idea this party was", he continues._ What? Tobias' idea? No way! _Beatrice thinks. I agree with her. Four isn't that kind of guy who cares about parties. _He's up to something, _I think back. "I want to thank my deceased little brother who made us all use the world pansycake", he says with a sad smile. _Uriah, _I and Beatrice think, _I'll tell him what you said, Zeke, don't worry,_ Beatrice thinks, "And last but not least, I want to thank our dear Juli who dared me to arrange this coronation", Zeke ends his speech and winks at me. I smile at him. This dare isn't hard but it's fun, at least I think so. "Now", Four says, "you'll have to say exactly as I say." Zeke nods and Four grins. "I, Zeke Pedrad", Four starts. "I, Zeke Pedrad", Zeke mimes. "Solemnly swear…" "Solemnly swear…" "To honor the glory of being a pansycake and to lead my fellow pansycakes with pride", Four says so quickly I almost don't hear every word. Zeke grins. "To honor the glory of being a pansycake and to lead my fellow pansycakes with pride", he repeats without a problem. Four laughs and puts the plastic crown on Zeke's head. "Congratulations, Zeke. You are now the true Queen of Pansycakes", Four says with faked pride.

"Jess, Candor or Dauntless?" Zeke asks. "Candor", Jess says and smiles at Zeke. "Okay, why did you choose Dauntless?" "Because of the Dauntless boys, of course!" Jess answers and winks at Zeke. Shauna doesn't look that happy and I can't really blame her. _What a bitch, _Beatrice thinks. I shrug._ Maybe she's just joking._ "Henry, C or D?" Jess asks and blinks her eyes for a few times. "Dauntless is what I am!" Henry replies confidently. "Dare you to kiss the hottest girl here", she says and flashes a flirtatious smile. Elsie giggles beside her. Henry blushes and removes his shirt. _His body really looks good, I_ think. Beatrice laughs._ You should see Tobias._ An image of shirtless Four rises in my mind. I grin._ Okay, I understand what you see in him_, I think to Beatrice. _It's_ not _just because his body!_ She laughs. _Yeah, whatever._ "Emily, you know the question", Henry says. "Candor, this time", she answers. "Who's your crush?" "No-one yet", Emily says. "Boring!" we all shout. Emily just shrugs and waves her long brown hair. "That's' the truth, no-one said you have to like it." I like that part in her. She's not afraid to be herself, she's kind, but she doesn't have to please anyone. "Ethan, Candor or Dauntless?" Emily asks. "Dauntless", Ethan replies. "Dare you to let Juli sit on your lap for the rest of the game", she says and smiles. Ethan grins and opens his arms. "Come here babyyyy!" he requests me and raises his eyebrows flirtatiously. I laugh and sit on his lap and he wraps his arms around me. "Well now that you're here, Juli, Candor or Dauntless?" he asks me. "Whichever", I say and yawn. "Is there something you hide from me? Or something about you that I don't know?" He wonders. "Something I hide from you? Well, my boobs, obviously", I say and everyone starts to laugh. Then I think about his other question for a while. "No. I don't think there's anything you don't know about me", I answer truthfully. He smiles and hugs me tighter._ I love your friendship_, Beatrice thinks happily. I roll my eyes but can't deny that I feel the same way._ I love it too._ After I've asked Jake who's the hottest girl here and he has answered Christina I start to feel more and more tired. I yawn and close my eyes just for a second and then everything turns dark.


	8. Dead but so Alive

**A/N First of all, thank you LoveSarge for your nice review, it made me so happy! And second, the anonymous who had a problem with my summary, let me clear myself: **

**I know there's no war a few years after Tris is BORN. But I never said there was. The whole fewyearsaftertrisisborn-shit is supposed to make clear that Juli is created after Tris's birth, so she's younger than her. And when Tris dies, she makes a connection with someone- yeah, she's dead but she makes a connection. It may be difficult to understand for someone but the connection is possible because of Juli's great Divergence and her and Tris's genes. I didn't want Tris dead, okay?! This is not a no-war fic, this is something that could happen after Allegiant, something that could bring Tris alive. **

**And for third, about saying Juliet is a Mary Sue, you're quite right, I haven't shown her negative side like, at all. But she has one (or more, lol). She has the Divergence for every faction and that makes her kind of conflicting person. **

**Anyways, I tried something new with this chapter; I wrote it from Tris's point of view. I don't know what is it like to be dead or inside someones head, but here it goes!**

Tris POV

I run with Marlene toward the giant pile of Dauntless cake. I hear her laughter, feel the wet grass under my bare feet and smell the delicious scent of chocolate. I take a breath an feel the air fill my lungs. I'm free, free and alive. "Hurry up, slowsters, or I'll eat everything!" Uriah shouts grinning.

Lynn rolls her eyes and pokes Uriah. "No you won't, you must let me have at least the half of it!"

Uriah is just about to reply something when we hear a quick 'poof' and Will appears. "You guys about to eat cake without me? No chance!" he says happily. I look at him and he smiles his wide smile that lets his teeth show. For a second I get lost in a thought, but then I remember.

"Uriah!" I shout and look at the dark, smiling guy.

"At your service, Trissy Poo!" He replies and bows. Marlene rolls her eyes and Lynn tries to kick Uriah but he jumps away at the last second. Uriah shows his tongue and Lynn grins.

"The others were playing Candor or Dauntless", I begin and suddenly everybody is listening.

"Is Shauna allright?" "What about Christina, did she do something embarassing?" Lynn and Will ask quickly. I sigh.

"Well, Shauna is in her wheelchair but she seems to have some kind of proteses and I suspect she can walk. She seems to be very happy with Zeke. Christina is like she always is, but Juliet fell asleep before she did anything funny", I reply them, "But I wanted to tell you about Zeke. He had to make himself a coronation and Tobias crowned him the Queen of Pansycakes!"

Everyone bursts out laughing, Lynn almost choking her cake and Uriah hitting his fist to ground several times.

"Man, I miss them", he says with a sad voice. I raise my eyebrows.

"I thought you were happy here?" I ask him carefully. He shrugs and grins and replies, "I'm happy wherever I am. Though the coma shit was terrible." I understand him. It would be awful to be in coma.

"Beatrice!" My mom calls me somewhere. "Got to go", I tell my friends and start to follow my mom's voice. I fly like a bird in the skies, feeling the wind blowing. I laugh and for a moment the whole world laughs with me; the whole world enjoys my unique feeling of freedom. I land next to my mother and hug her.

"Oh Beatrice, I've missed you", she says and I let out a small laugh.

"You've missed me? But I've been here all the time; you could've called me", I say smiling. She closes her eyes for a moment and lets wind play with her hair. "I know", she admits slowly, "but I didn't want to bother you and...your sister." I look at her green eyes full of mother's love. But does she care at all about Juliet? Or does she think Juliet is unnatural creature with no humanity? Does she think her genes have been used the wrong way? I don't think so. My mom is a way too kind person for that.

"Mom... what do you think about her? Juliet, I mean", I ask her quietly. Mom looks surprised; she wasn't expecting this question. She thinks about it for a second.

"I think she's a very strong girl. I'm sorry for her not having parents, it has surely been hard to have a childhood like hers. I don't like that people use my genes without me knowing and for a while I hoped she didn't exist at all, at least for her own sake. But then I realised that despite all the evil she has been through, somehow she has learned to love. She is ready to bring you back alive even though it would risk her own life. She loves you, and I love anyone who loves you, my Beatrice", she tells with wet eyes. I don't realize I am crying, too, until my mom hugs me again.

"I love you mom. I never want to lose you again", I whisper in her ear.

"I love you too, Beatrice, more than anything." she says, her voice full of emotion. We just stand there for a moment, hugging each other.

"Would you want to meet her?" I ask suddenly. I have never thought about it begore, but now I feel like it could be possible.

"Who? Juliet? I didn't know it would be possible for anyone but you", she replies, looking puzzeld.

"Well, I'm not sure about it either", I admit, "but we have this theory our connection exists because of our genes and our strong Divergence; you have the same genes and you're Divergent, too. By all sense, you should be able to do it as well as I am, at least with a little help from us", I tell her, suddenly starting to believe my words also myself.

"I don't know, Beatrice", she admits, "I've never met her and it would probably be pretty awkward for both of us."

I feel a little disappointed; I had thought mom would be exited to meet Juliet. Well, mom really isn't her mother even biologically, but I have started to keep her as my little sister and it feels bad to think mom doesn't want to meet her.

"Please, at least think about it", I beg. Mom looks surprised, she isn't used to me asking for anything. I flush, I shouldn't be this selfish.

"I didn't know it's that important to you", she just says. She doesn't scowl me for being selfish, just smiles at me gently. "I'll think about it."

For some time, I just talk and laugh with mom but then I feel the weird warmth in my chest which I notice to be Juliet's heart beating. That's her call for me, she's starting to wake up. I wave at my mom and enter the white space that we call our no-mans land. Juliet is already there, yawning.

_Hi, Beatrice! How was your night?_ She asks as happily as always.

_It was great. Ate a lot of cake, though. It's a good thing the dead can't gain weight_, I tell her grinning.

_Yeah do whatever unless you're going to make me fat, because I can do it all by myself. I love Dauntless cake. And pizza_, she laughs.

_Is it time to wake up yet? _

_Could be. I'll take a shower. I don't want Ethan to complain how I smell like a monkey._


	9. Punching things

**A/N Thank you for the favs, follows and review, I'm glad you like my story! :) I'm now on my vacation and I can write only on my cellphone so I'm sorry for the crappy chapter XD Anyways, review if you like/dislike/love/hate/think it's ok/think it's not ok/breathe**

**Juli POV**

I step out of the shower and take a look at my reflection. A grey-eyed girl with wet hair and plain face looks back. I raise my eyebrows and she does the same. "Who are you?" I ask her and her lips move as I say the words. I sigh. If I only could speak with myself, I could maybe find out what I am like. Is there anything else in me but my Divergence? Do I have anything...my own? Anything that is not planned by the scientists? Well, there are some things they defiantly didn't plan. Brenda. No, not here, not now. Now isn't the time for me to break down. Clothes on, inhale, exhale, repeat.

"So, today we'll teach you some kicks and punches and you'll get to fight each other. Because this year there are so many of you, seven of you are going to be cut out after stage one and twenty-one of you are going to continue the initiation. Yes, that includes also the Dauntless- borns. There's fourteen of you and fourteen of them. In the end there will be fourteen new Dauntless members. Any questions?" Four ends his speech.

"Yeah", says Elsie, "what will happen to the people that don't pass the initiation?"

"You'll join the Sixth faction and get to choose your job there", Four replies. _You know, we'd be great politicians together_, Beatrice thinks. I grin,_ I will never become politician. I'd rather die. Politicians are all evil and only think about themselves_. Beatrice tries to mentally kick me or something. _Don't be so biased! Do you think Tobias is mean and thinks only about himself?_I think about it for a second. _Okay, well, every politician but Tobias is mean and_-"Juli! What did I just say?" Christina asks, looking annoyed.

"Umm... I don't know. I wasn't listening", I answer honestly.

"I see you weren't. A part of me would like to tell you to hang over the chasm for five minutes, because that would be exactly what I had to do as a punishment when I was an initiate. Lucky for you, the leadership has changed. Twenty push-ups, NOW!"

I just look at her. She had to hang over the chasm and she doesn't believe I can do the same? I need to prove her wrong. "I want to hang over the chasm", I say and look at Christina straight in the eye. _No, you don't want to! Forget your stupid pride, it isn't worth risking your life, _Beatrice thinks. I ignore her._ That's no risk. I've gone through worse_, I reply. Beatrice is about to explode. _You're a way too pride and it will get you into troubl_-"Excuse me? You want to hang over the chasm? Are you insane?" Christina asks with wide eyes. I don't respond. She shrugs.

"Well, whatever but your pride will someday get you. Maybe it's a Dauntless flaw. Go and hang over the stupid chasm", she says. I turn her my back and start to walk towards chasm, but Four grabs roughly my hand.

"No-one's going to hang over the chasm. I won't allow it. Go to the line with the others", he says grimly. I stare at him. It's not his problem if I want to show them I'm Dauntless. "That's an order", he says. I shrug and walk back to the line.

_You're impossible! Impossible! Thank God Tobias is in order here_, Beatrice thinks angrily. _Shut up, you got what you wanted_, I think back. Some of the other initiates look at me weirdly and I walk behind Ethan. He doesn't say anything but I feel his frown. He doesn't like me taking risks. I watch as Christina shows some punches and walk to a punching bag. I hit it a few times, not quite happy how little it moves. More than some of the others' bags, but less than some of them. I hit the bag with fury and it moves a little more. Christina comes to me.

"The hit itself was good, but you lost your balance after it. You have to remember not to hit with your rage but your skills. Cool your temper and keep your tension in your stomach", she advises. I nod, I know she's right. I shouldn't lose my concentration, but sometimes it feels good to forget everything I know and let the feelings decide. A beginners mistake, but a tempting one.

After half an hour of punching bags, Four calls us to the chalk table.

"Now, initiates, it's time for you to fight each other. I will tell you the pairs and you'll fight until the other can't continue. They can also give up if they want, and it will be marked as loss. Here are the pairings", he says and turns the table around. I take a look at it and frown.

George vs Jake

Ethan vs Henry

Lise vs Mary

Sarah vs Jess

Elsie vs Britt

Juli vs Richard

Emily vs Daniel

Richard?! The biggest and strongest of them? I look at him quickly, and a second later I wish I didn't he has this amused smile on his face and I can see what he's thinking. He doesn't believe I have even the slightest chance of beating him. So now there's no way I can give up. I have to beat him or I go to the infirmacy.

George and Jake start their fight. George throws the first punch, which is his big mistake, because Jake grabs his hand and bends it behind his back. George screams, but manages to kick Jake in his stomach and gets his hand free. They start to punch each others faces and after a five minutes of struggling, Jake punches George down and he doesn't rise anymore. I see his chest rise, so he's alive. Jake helps him up and they start to talk and laugh. George's condition can't be that bad, then.

I see Henry beat Ethan, luckily not so badly, Lise beat Mary and Jess beat Sarah. When Elsie and Britt are kicking and punching each other, my heart starts to beat faster and my arms start to tremble. Calm down, Beatrice says. I know; it's just a fight, I reply, but don't feel that much better. When Elsie has slightly beaten Britt, I step in the ring and look at Richard. He looks bored. "Couldn't you give me a proper fighter as a pair? Beating up girls is boring", he whines. Four just looks at him with a little annoyance and says:"Don't underestimate women, they can do as much damage as men, really." Richard just shrugs and suddenly throws a hard punch at me. I try to duck away, but the punch hits my shoulder. I wince in pain, but now isn't the time to whine. I bluff with my left arm, and when he's concentrated on evading that punch, I throw my right fist to his face with all my strenght. He screams and kicks my gut and I fall two steps backward. He attacks me, throwing his hand to my mouth. I feel the pain and kick him in his stomach. He keeps his hold of me, holding his hand in front of my mouth and bending my back. I bite his hand and he lets go, screaming. But I don't let go. I overhang in his arm with my jaws locked and when he tries to rise it furiously, I rise with it. My teeth carry my whole bodyweight and I kick him hard all the way up. "I've had enough, bitch! Let go!" Richard shouts furiously in pain. He raises his other hand and hits me over and over again. I try to block his hits but his arms are two times the size of mine, so it doesn't really help. I bite him and kick him and he punches me until I fall unconscious.


	10. Christina is Christina

**A/N Thanks for the reviews you all! I love that you like my story and it felt really good writing to you guys, hope this chapter doesn't disappoint you! Tell me if you want something more or something less or if you want me to try something new, I'd like to hear what you guys want me to write. And sorry for the short chapter!**

Juli POV

I exist. I exist in a dark space. There's nothing; no pain, no thoughts. Just me and my emptiness. Suddenly I feel something; a blind terror strikes me. _Beatrice, am I dead?!_ I ask her, hoping my thought will be heard. For a moment she doesn't reply but then I hear her laughter from somewhere far, far away. _No_, she replies, _you defiantly aren't. You're probably in the infirmary right now. They seem to have given you painkillers, that's why you feel like that_. I'm relieved; I'm not ready to die yet. Before that I want to pass Dauntless initiation, live a free life, fall in love and grow old with someone. And, of course, save Beatrice.  
I try to look around but there's nothing but dark. Geez, I never thought it would be this dark and empty inside of my head. Suddenly I hear voices.  
"Is she waking up soon?"  
"I think so. What about Richard, is he getting any better?"  
"I don't know and to be honest, I don't even care."  
"Don't be that mad at him, Henry, Juli is going to be okay. And you and Ethan have to admit their fight was hilarious. I mean, did you see Richard's face?"  
"I really don't understand your belief of hilarious, Jake. Do you see Juli's face?"  
"Oh come on, man, just because you-hey, she's waking up!"  
I blink my eyes a few times and look at the people surrounding me. Henry and Ethan look concerned, Jake is grinning at me, Emily is badly bruised -Daniel probably beated her-, and even Lise and Sarah are there, looking a little lost.  
"What happened? To me, to Emily?" I ask with a weak voice.  
"Well, you almost tore Richard's hand off and probably ruined all of his entrails and he threw a few good punches to your pretty face and, well, it isn't that pretty anymore. He was marked as a winner but most of us think that it should've been a tie, since he fainted a little after your jaws had been taken off of his hand", Jake explains, looking amused.  
"Your face is okay", Henry ads and I try to laugh but it turns to a cough.  
"Comforting. But what the hell, he fainted? I don't have rabies, he should be happy with the sign of my teeth in his arm; that's probably every bite mark he'll ever get", I say mockingly. Jake laughs and Ethan and Henry smile. Don't be too mean to him, Beatrice thinks and for a second I feel guilty. Then I remember my face.  
"Yeah, and Daniel won me so that's why I look like this", Emily says happily, like it doesn't bother her at all.  
"Me and Sarah came here to tell you that Christina invited you and Emily to a 'super-secret meeting' at the dinner", says Lise, making the quotes with her hands. I look at Emily and she looks just as puzzled as I feel. What would Christina want?  
"Umm okay... thanks for telling us", I say. Lise smiles and Sarah grins.  
"No problem. By the way, it was a good fight. Get well soon!" And then they leave.  
"Why am I not invited?" Jake asks when the girls have left. Emily rolls her eyes.  
"Because she thinks you're annoying?" She suggests and I grin. Jake looks hurt; he probably has never thought anyone could possibly keep him annoying.  
"Nah, it's just because me and Emily are special", I comfort him.  
"I'm special too!" He whines.  
"Not as special", Emily says ruthlessly. Jake looks mortified and I remember Ethan telling me Jake has a crush on Christina.  
"Don't worry, I don't think she's going to ask us to date her", I laugh and he blushes.  
"Better say no if she asks", he mumbles and then everyone bursts out laughing, including Jake. I look at Ethan and for a second I am the happiest person in the world. Badly bruised muscles aching, but free, safe and loved by friends.

I walk with Emily to Christina's table. Lise and Sarah are already there, and so are Four, Zeke and Shauna. I feel a little nervous; have I broken rules? Well, Emily for sure hasn't. It has to be something else then.  
"Welcome to my super-secret meeting", Christina begins with shining eyes. _Uh-oh_, Beatrice thinks, _this has to mean shopping. Can I have a day off from your head?_ "Juliet, don't look so terrified. I have something fun planned to the four of you! You have the privilege to come shopping with me tonight. And, of course, anyone who says no will be kicked out of initiation", she says and looks especially at me. _I want a day off too_, I think. Sarah and Lise look so excited I feel like punching them and Emily looks amused.  
"I'm honored, but may I ask why you especially chose the four of us?" Emily asks Christina.  
"Yeah, I was coming to it. I chose you four, because Jess and Elsie once talked something about my shoes, but wear horrible shirts themselves. They defiantly have no sense of fashion. Britt and Mary, then, they still dress like children, go be honest. You three have the best style of the transfers, that's why", she answers and points Emily, Sarah and Lise.  
"But... what about Juli?" Lise asks with wide eyes. Christina looks at me and wrinkles her nose.  
"She has so awful taste of clothes that I have to save her", she says.  
"Thanks a lot", I say but Christina ignores it.  
"And she's Emily's friend", she adds.


	11. Guy talk

**A/N I'm going to warn you; this chapter will be extra-short, I'm deadly tired! I wrote it on Jake's POV, because I like his as a character and, well, shopping scenes are not the thing for me :D Read and Review, please!**

Jake POV

I watch how the girls leave and then turn to Ethan and Henry. "So, are we following them or not?" I ask them grinning. Ethan rolls his eyes; he doesn't seem to think it as a good idea. And Henry looks at me like I've lost my mind. "Why on Earth should we follow them?" he asks. Sometimes I get a little annoyed about his anti-spontaneous behavior. "Not too Dauntless, are we?" I ask him sarcastically. He looks pissed off and replies, "I don't see what's the Dauntless thing about stalking girls." "Yeah, you're a little too obsessed about Christina", Ethan continues. I feel my cheeks turn hot. "It's NOT about Christina! I thought it would be fun to have some guy-time. And, besides, you can't deny you are just as obsessed with Juli, you just don't show it!" I defense myself. Ethan sighs. "How many times have I told you that we're nothing but-""I wasn't talking to _you,_ mister Just-Friends! I was talking to him!" I shout, and point at Henry, who blushes deeply. Ethan looks at him like he's just grown a pair of wings. "You _like_ her? I mean, _like _like her?" he asks Henry with wide eyes. Henry nods and blushes even more, and Ethan starts to laugh. "What the hell, man, what do you see in her?" he asks laughing. I raise my eyebrows. "That's not very nice thing to say about your best friend. She's not that bad", I say to him. Henry doesn't say anything; he probably thinks Ethan is too stupid to understand anything about his very-deep-and-serious feelings. Ethan nods but keeps laughing. "I understand that someone can think her as a…_ attractive girl,_ but seriously? Juli? Don't misunderstand me; I would die for her, I would kill for her, I would do anything for her. But I would defiantly not _date _her", he tries to explain. "Why wouldn't you?" Henry asks with a small accuse in his voice, "is there something wrong with her?" Ethan thinks about it for a second and replies, "There's nothing _wrong _with her. Her face is okay, her body is okay, her nature is most of the time okay, but… she's more like a twin sister to me. I can't think her as a girl." Henry rolls his eyes and I shove him playfully. "Better for you, man!" I say happily. Ethan still looks amused. "Good luck, you'll need it!" he says.

For a moment, everybody is quiet and fallen in their thoughts, but then I notice, "Ethan, we know about everyone's women business now, except yours. So, darling, tell uncle-Jake everything!" I say and grin. Henry seems also relieved that he isn't the center of attention anymore. "I don't have anyone in mind", Ethan replies and tries to act cool. Henry and I look at each other and grin at the same time. "You're such a liar!" I shout happily at him. "Yeah, you're a true anti-Candor!" Henry agrees. Ethan looks annoyed and shrugs. "Okay, well, maybe I like Emily a little", he admits. "A little?" Henry asks and raises his eyebrows sarcastically. "Yeah, a little! Unlike you, I don't usually _fall in love on the first sight_!" he spits out and continues, "I mean, we've been here only a few days. How serious can your feelings be?" Henry looks like Ethan has insulted him badly, and I can't deny I feel the same way. "Dead serious", I answer him coolly and Henry nods. Ethan still doesn't seem to believe us but he doesn't say anything. Good choice.

"So who are you fighting tomorrow?" I ask them, knowing that's the topic everyone is interested in. Henry smiles widely and puts his hand on Ethan's shoulder. "I'm going to fight Richard and Ethan has Daniel. We can both have our revenge!" he says. Ethan smiles and nods but adds, "Actually, it's not _our_ revenge but the girls', although we can do it for them." I'm a little jealous; Richard would be defiantly fun to fight with. I could tease him with my jokes about his and Juli's fight, but I guess there will come a time I can do it. "Man, you must beat them up or I can't look you in the eye anymore!" I tell them and add, "I have Jess. She's annoying, but fighting girls really doesn't feel right." Ethan nods but Henry looks confused. "You think she's annoying? She has always been nice to me", he wonders. "Yeah but he drools over Four. I have seen how she looks at him, and the thought of them together makes me sick", I tell them. Ethan laughs and says, "I almost forgot your crush on Four! Tell me, who do you prefer; Four or Christina?" Henry laughs too but I just roll my eyes. "Yeah, Four is my true love. No but he's a cool guy, really. I respect him, he has the power but he doesn't use it wrong. It defiantly has nothing to do with crush, I'm totally into girls!" I tell them coolly but they just laugh louder. "Tell me, Ethan, wasn't that a little too defensing?" "It really was." "Oh shut up, both of you!"


	12. Turning time

**A/N So this is the chapter Juli and Tris practice time-turning, I hope you like it and review!**

Juli POV  
I walk to the dormitories with Emily, whose excitement is obvious.  
"I can't wait to use my new clothes tomorrow! And these shoes, Juli, these shoes are the best thing that's ever happened to me!" She says, her eyes shining.  
"They truly look good on you", I admit and that makes her talk even more about them. _You could just tell her that you don't care about her stupid shoes. It would be good for both of us,_ Beatrice suggests. _Nope, today I feel like a proper Amity. I don't want to ruin the peace_, I tell her.  
"Hey Emily, I need to do a thing over there, see you later", I tell Emily quickly and wave at some random space. She looks suspicious but then shrugs.  
"Okay, see ya!"

_What are we going to do? Or did you just want to get rid of her shoe-talk? I wouldn't blame you, really_, Beatrice wonders. I breathe slowly. It's now or never and it has to be done. _I think it would be a great time to practice this time-turning thing_, I reply nervously. I feel her surprise and insecurity before she says anything_. I don't know what if something goes wrong?_ She asks and I don't have the answer. But I know that we have to try. _I don't think anything will go wrong_, I tell her, _if there's a limit about how far I can go or something like that, it will probably just stop us and throw us back here_. She feels still a little scared, but there are some things that have to be done, and this is one of them_. Ready?_ I ask her. _Defiantly not. Let's do this. _

I take a deep breath and bury my feet deep into the ground. The chasm mourns in my ears and I try to get my thoughts together. I know how this works, I've done this before. I feel the warmth fill me and concentrate. _Take me three and half years back_, I beg. I start to recall my memories from three and a half years before. It's the time before I met Beatrice so if she's still inside my head, she should be there also when I'll get to try to save her. _Three and a half years, three and a half years..._

__Everything starts to spin and I see moments of my life pass me by. But this time, it's different. I see also everything that has happened here, next to the chasm, during that time. This is new; I have never turned time anywhere but in the Controller's minor and its past has basically been exactly the same as mine.  
Some sights draw my attention; I see people laughing by the chasm, Zeke pushing Shauna's wheelchair there and then I see Four crying. He holds something to his chest and tears run down his cheek. Beatrice screams mentally in pain and I feel terrified. I blink a few times and the sight disappears, while my life keeps spinning. I see our escape, and before I can turn away, I see my nightmare that begun that day. The guards are running towards me, shouting. There are at least four of them, all 20-40 years old males. Some of them probably have a family and working for the Controller is maybe their only chance to feed them. I see how I hold the gun, how I aim, how I shoot. I hear my victims yell in pain and I see myself with the murderer's look in my eyes. Something warm falls on my cheek and a second later I'm crying. Beatrice's sympathy falls over me, but there's nothing she can say or do to make me feel better. She was there, holding the gun with me. But the final decision was mine, it's always mine. And I feel bad for killing people for my own sake, I feel bad for making them suffer. But does it make me any better person, when I know I would do it all again if I was given the chance?

My feet hit the ground, hard, and I fall. _Beatrice? Beatrice, are you there?_ I call her. _Yeah, I'm here and... I'm there too! Hide, quickly! _She commands and I run into a bush. _If there are bugs I'll probably scare the hell out of the other you with my scream_, I warn her just as I see her and Four walk here, holding hands. They sit on some rocks and Four releases her hand.  
"These are things I don't tell people, you know. Not even my friends", he says. _Well, too bad for you that I'm here too, should've probably picked another place, huh?_ I feel like screaming at him and Beatrice frowns. Inside my head, though, not here with Four. She looks actually waiting for some romantic surprise here. _No I don't_, she denies, _I just wonder if he's Divergent. And I'm sure we won't be overheard here because of the chasm_. I grin_. Stupid of you._  
Four continues talking, "My result was as expected, Abnegation." I raise my eyebrows. The great Four, Dauntless prodigy, a Stiff? Serving others? Beatrice, this Beatrice, is frustrated_. You know, you really shouldn't be eavesdropping us_. _These are his personal stuff_, she complains. I ignore her. I'm not ready to leave yet. I'm the same age as the other Beatrice here and I feel a great urge to talk to her. I watch how Four explains how he had to change factions and then they speak something about his dickhead-daddy and Beatrice complains how she's not selfless enough and Four says that she is and how he threw knives...- _He threw knives at your head_? I ask Beatrice, laughing silently, _and you still fell in love with him?_ She's still mad at me, but shows me her memory how the knife had nicked her ear. _You have a very masochistic taste of men_, I think amusedly. She doesn't say anything.

I continue watching Beatrice tell Four about his four fears being awesome, - Four fears? Four fucking fears? That's why he's so famous? Okay, I'm so gonna beat his record. _No, you're not, _Beatrice says. I don't reply, she'll see. What fears do I even have? Okay, bugs. And the Controller... And losing Ethan and, okay, maybe I have some fears. How can I get rid of them? It would be so cool not to have any fears, everyone could call me Zero. _Yeah, dream on_, Beatrice thinks sarcastically.  
Four and the other Beatrice have started this being cute-thing. "I like you", "You're older than me", "You're awesome", "I'm not pretty", and just when I start to think it can't get any more disgustingly romantic, they start to snog. Great. Just my luck. _Aww, we are so cute_, Beatrice thinks. I feel like puking.


	13. Moving on isn't anything I'm good at

**A/N Sorry for the shorty one and for the angst but this is how I thought poor Tobias would feel like :'( And, yeah, I'm too tired to write more, my holiday is about to end and I have to sleep but I want to read and write **_**and**_** I have cheer-practice tomorrow so… It's short but it's the best I could do.**

Tobias POV  
Christina talks something to the group of initiates, but I'm too tired to care. I haven't slept almost at all in the past few nights and I know the reason, even though I don't want to admit it; I'm afraid. It's not the nightmares that keep me awake, I've got used to them a long time ago. No, this is something much worse. It's the good dreams. Ever since Juli first time looked me in the eyes, I've started to dream about Tris. In my dreams, we're alive and together. In my dreams I feel happier than I've ever felt after Tris's death. And it sucks. It sucks that I can't get over her, and it sucks that I don't even want to. My mom still uses to tell me that my pain is temporary, but she has also started to lose her faith in that. I don't even have anyone to blame, so I blame myself. And then I blame the world. And then I blame everyone who were there but didn't take her place. And still, I have to be grateful to Tris. Not only for saving Chicago, but saving me, too. Without her I would never have known love and without her I would never be me. And still she causes me so much pain; every morning I wake up and I'm happy for a second. Then I remember who and where and when I am and I fall. Hard. Our love was something special, but was it really worth of three years of just wanting to let go? Wanting to completely disappear, turn to dust, stop existing? I have walked to the chasm many times and thought about jumping; I have imagined my body fall and hit the rocks.

I have never jumped, never even really tried. I have never hurt myself. I have wanted to, many times, but there's this one reason that has kept me from doing anything, and that reason is Tris. She would've thought me as a coward if I harmed myself and she would've been right. Even when she is gone, the thought of her keeps me safe. How ironic, she makes me feel this way and then destroys every way out.

I'd do anything to bring her back.

"Four! They're starting to fight!" Christina whispers loudly and shoves me. I come quickly back to reality and watch how Richard and Henry start to punch each other. "Henry looks furious", I say, "Look at his face." Christina frowns. "Yeah, he shouldn't take a battle personally. But I wouldn't surprise if he didn't like Dick. He's such a dick", she says. I raise my eyebrows, look at Christina and laugh. "Excuse me? Would you repeat, I'm not sure I heard you right?" She grins at me. "Well, Dick is a short from Richard. And I thought the nickname suits him pretty well", she says archly. I sigh. "You know, people won't be too happy if you prefer some initiates over the others. It's called favoritism", I tell her firmly. She lets out a small laugh. "Don't you even try to whine about favoritism! You're a master at it!" I roll my eyes, but don't say anything. She's right. When Tris was my initiate, of course I wanted her to win her fights. And I also wanted to kill Peter, Drew and Al slowly, when they had attacked her. I had controlled myself pretty well. This year I don't favor the initiates as much, obviously. But if we're being honest, Richard really isn't my favorite person ever. After a long and bloody fight, Henry finally knocks Rich…- Dick, out, and throws his fist into air victoriously. It's Jake's and Jess's turn, and the first thing Jake does, is saying:"_ You're_ Jess? I thought you'd be the other one, huh- hey, what you-"Jess punches him in the face and he starts to swear. I feel the urge to punch him myself, too. How can he not concentrate on fighting? Well, despite the problems in the beginning, Jake wins Jess pretty quickly. George wins Lise even quicker. Juli wins Britt, Ethan beats Daniel- I made them fight together because their skills seemed to be on the same level, even though Ethan had lost and Daniel had won. Emily beats Mary and Elsie beats Sarah. The fights are over, and it's time for lunch. I watch the initiates walk away, talking in quiet voices. I'm just about to leave, when I hear a stern voice: "Four." It's Juli, standing still in the corner of the room. "Yeah?" I ask her, stupidly hoping that she would reveal me a massive secret about knowing Tris or something. She looks at me for a moment with those eyes that belong to _her._ "Could I go to the fear landscape?"


	14. Excellent ideas with my best friend

**A/N Sorry for not updating, I've been ill and my brains didn't create anything intelligent enough to put on the Internet :/ Anyways, I'm well and alive again, and here's a new chapter!**

Juli POV  
Four stands there, looking perplexed. The initiates probably shouldn't even know about fear landscape, but after the war the rules had been ignored and free information was available for anyone. So, he should think I know about the initiation process.  
"Ok, listen here, girl. I'm not going to ask you why on Earth do you want to go there, but I'm not going to let you go, either. It would be unfair to the others if you had prepared for the second level of initiation and they hadn't", Four explains quickly. I need to go there, but I really don't want anyone else to come with me. I sigh. Sometimes you have to pick between the two evils.  
"Well, ask the others if they are willing to come, too. This is important", I tell him. He shakes his head.

"No. My decision is final. You'll get to go there soon enough", he says and I feel the urge to break something. He would defiantly help me if he knew what I am up to, but I can't tell him. I still need to get there, though. I nod at Four's direction, but I don't look into his eyes. I'm not that good liar.

"Jul! Where were you? We were worried", Ethan says to me as I sit down between Henry and Jake.  
"Arguing with Four, if you really need to know", I tell him, sounding probably frustrated. Ethan raises his eyebrows and Henry stiffens. Jake just grins at me.  
"Really? Did you break rules? I wouldn't be surprised", Jake teases. I roll my eyes.  
"Not really. Just asked if I could go to the fear landscape. He obviously said no", I tell them. Ethan shrugs and Henry relaxes.  
"Why the hell do you want to go there?" Jake looks at me like I've lost my mind. I shrug.  
"Curiosity, I guess", I reply lightly. Jake seems to accept that, but Ethan knows the truth, like he always does. He knows I did it because of Beatrice. And he knows I don't give up on that. He shoots me a warning look, and I nod. He nods slowly after me and I roll my eyes.  
"Do you guys read each other's' minds?" Jake asks, looking interested. I shove him with my elbow and he winces.  
"Yes, we do", Ethan says calmly and smiles.  
"Okay. Tell me what you were talking about. But one at a time, whispering in my ear so the other doesn't hear anything", Jake demands grinning. Ethan sighs but I lean closer to Jake.  
"We were talking about how stupid you were", I whisper quietly and grin. Jake looks hurt, but wants Ethan to confirm what I had said.  
"I bet she told you we were talking about your stupidity, but she just teased you, don't worry", Ethan says out loud and I happily show him my middle finger. Ethan returns the favor and grins at me. Jake looks impressed.  
"You two are like the same person in different bodies! Why aren't you twins, or, married or... something?" he asks and I burst out laughter. Ethan just rolls his eyes in a very-Erudite way.  
"We've like grown together. There is an invisible force between us and it gives us superpowers, like reading minds and teleporting and turning time-" "Ethan!" I say angrily and he grins at me.  
"Juli doesn't like me revealing our secrets", he says innocently. Jake and Henry laugh but I am furious. What if they had believed him, or noticed my skill somehow, or... _Relax, Juliet. It isn't possible they would find out. You could just turn back time and stop Ethan telling them if they somehow discovered it. It's not possible for anyone else to know about it but the people you've told about it_, Beatrice comforts. She's right, I shouldn't shout at Ethan. Besides, I've got more important things to do.  
"Come, Ethan, they don't believe us", I say to him and drag him to the hallway from his sleeve. He follows without hesitation while Jake and Henry still laugh at Ethan's half-joke. We walk to a quiet corner and look each other in the eyes.  
"So, he didn't let you?" Ethan asks and I nod. He closes his eyes for a moment.  
"You're going there tonight, with or without me, am I right?" he asks and I nod again. He knows me too well. He grabs my arm with a sudden power and looks me deep in the eyes.  
"Not tonight, Jul. You have time, we have time. Four may suspect something. Besides, I have special plans for us tonight", he says and winks at me.  
"Ugh, that sounds like a disgustingly romantic line from a disgustingly romantic book. If I throw up, it's all because of you", I answer him rolling my eyes. He sighs. "You probably are the least romantic person in the world", he says with faked pain.  
"And proud of it", I add happily. He takes his eyes off mine.  
"You know, you haven't always been like this... when we were little, you always wanted to be the princess", he mumbles. I close my eyes. All the humor just somehow disappeared.  
"I know, Ethan. The little girl who used to be me would probably loathe me the way I am now. But things have changed, Ethan. A lot of things have changed. And you're cruel when you bring them up this way", I say, fighting back tears. He turns around and closes me into his arms. "Jul... I'm sorry. For Brenda, for you, for Beatrice. I didn't mean to be cruel. It's just that... it's ironic we have the chance to change time, but we have a stronger reason to not turn, and it drives us crazy", he murmurs in my ear. I grab his waist and stay there for a moment. When I have rested there enough time to make me strong again, I lift my head.  
"What was the thing you were planning for tonight?" I ask.  
"We'll go to a field trip together", he replies with a smile.


	15. Past haunts

**A/N Hello, here's a chapter that explains Juli's past a little. Hope you review!**

Juli POV  
_I'm there again, 13-years old and pale. I stand there, and know what's coming. The warm, familiar feeling strikes me, and I fly in my memories, further and further. My memories stop and only the place changes.  
I have lied to Beatrice. I've travelled a lot further than three years back. I have travelled fourteen years. The Controller's minor is almost empty, and this is my only chance to attack. I walk quietly to the laboratory door, and hesitate. What if someone's there? What if they notice me? But I don't see anyone there when I open the door. Like I didn't see last time, or the time before that. No-one's there. No-one but a big tube full of water and a tiny thing floating there. The thing looks innocent but I know better. It's the most dangerous thing in the world. It's a fetus, a small girl that looks like an alien. It's me.  
I bite my lip and taste blood. _This is what you came here for, a voice shouts in my head_. It's right; I have already made the decision. I take my gun and point it to the tube. _The world is a better place without you_, I think bitterly. I close my eyes and inhale. I'm just about to pull the trigger, when something stops me. A thought, a sparkling thought, creating a face of a boy. The only person in my world that knows. _What will happen to Ethan if you pull the trigger_? another voice asks with an accuse. I fall back, hard, but the view changes before I hit the ground._

_Now I'm in the toilet, naked, and a way too big pain to bear strikes me, over and over again. Tears fall down my cheeks and I bite my tongue to avoid screaming. Ethan stands next to me, holding a towel. He has a desperate look in his eyes; he must be frustrated when he can't do anything to help me. I feel my insides coming out from my mouth while the blood falls into the toilet. Ethan grabs my hair with his other hand and throws a bucket under my head with the other.  
"Is it done yet?" He asks, his voice shaking. I hear him faintly and it takes all my strength to shake my head. I try to push everything out of me, but my strength has disappeared from me a long time ago. Ethan grabs my hand.  
"You can do it, Jul! I believe in you. I'm sorry; if I had known about how much it hurts I would have never brought you the pill", he apologies.  
"Not your...fault. You... did right", I splutter. He looks at me and a few tears run down his cheek. I'd sigh and roll my eyes if I wasn't in too much pain. He's being too empathic.  
The pain stabs me, then shoots me, then hits its fists into my stomach. I push with everything I have left. This time I luckily don't throw up. Ethan holds me and I lift my head and look at his grey eyes.  
"It's out. Can you help me?" I ask with a weak voice. He nods and easily wraps the towel around me, lifts me and carries me to my bed. I blink my eyes, numb, and Ethan goes back for a second. When he returns, his face is pale.  
"Girl", he whispers, "she was a girl." I close my eyes and hope I could disappear completely. I have killed my own daughter. I'm the cruelest person in the world.  
"Brenda", I whisper, "her name was Brenda."_

"Jul! Wake up! You're crying, geez, I didn't know you were capable of crying anymore", Ethan whispers in my ear and I sit up immediately. He shoots me a worried look.  
"I'm okay. So, we're going now?" I ask dryly. I really didn't mean to cry in the Dauntless. _Why were you crying, Juliet? _Beatrice asks, also worried. _Bad dream_, I reply and wipe my eyes. Ethan takes my hand and leads me to the train rails. We wait there for a moment and I start to lose my concentration, but then he squeezes my hand and says quietly, "The train is coming." I see the lights and hear the train horn whistle. We wait until it's next to us and start running. I jump in first, and then help Ethan up. We sit there for a moment in total silence.  
"You were thinking about her, weren't you?" Ethan asks quietly. I nod. "It isn't your fault. You saved her. Just think about what the Controller would've done to her? A daughter of a perfect Divergent? He wanted you to give a birth to a child; he wanted to see if he could breed a Divergent ancestry. You don't want anyone to have a childhood like yours, do you? Especially your own daughter", he tells me and I lean to him. I want to believe him, and perhaps I partly do, but what if I could've saved her? Beatrice is quiet, she can't say anything about it. She has no words to comfort me, only Ethan has. We sit there for a long time, watching the train go next to the areas of Erudite, Abnegation and Sixth faction. Ethan stiffens when we come next to the Amity's sector. He points to the forest next to some fields. "Look", he says, "that's where we come from", but I don't listen. Instead I see a group of five people, running towards the train. Ahead of them is a seventh figure, a slim, tall man who looks deadly familiar.  
"Ethan, we have to hide! Quickly, behind those large boxes. That man over there, he's the Controller!"

**A/N Haha, cliffhanger! Now when you're done, go and review!**


	16. Hiding the seekers

**A/N okay I'm dead, so dead, after writing this chapter. I'm back to school and the teachers won't stop with the homework. Yesterday I had to make a CV in English (Yeah, my real CV is in Finnish) and that's why I couldn't write. Well, I hope you like this chapter, review please! :D And LoveSarge, thank you sooooo much for your reviews, you're awesome!  
**

Juli POV  
We hide quickly behind the boxes and hold our breath. Seconds later the group arrives in the same car. I see the Controller hobble in with difficulties in a small hole_. So he's alive. We didn't kill him_, Beatrice thinks with anger and fear. Ethan squeezes my hand and breathes quietly.  
"So, you want us to go to the factions on Visiting day and search for them? But we don't even know what they look like! It's been three years", a voice complains.  
"You've got a problem with that?" The Controller's cold voice asks with clear authority. I shudder. It's been a long time since I've heard that voice. Not long enough for my fear to fade, I guess.  
"N-no, of course not! I was just wondering if you had some information about them that could help us", the earlier voice mumbles quickly. I have a thought about who 'they' may be, and I don't like it at all. I know Ethan thinks the same way. We wait in silence for the Controller's answer.  
"It really has been three years. I can only tell you how they were. Juliet had the blondest hair I've ever seen, gray or blue eyes, and she was the average height of a girl that age. She was quiet and shy and, I thought, obeyed well. I thought she was a perfect Divergent, but I was wrong. She's probably nothing but Dauntless; she was selfish when she fled away, she started a war against me, so she's not up to peace. She lied to me many times and it really was the stupidest move to run away. It was brave, but stupid. So, she's just a Dauntless brat", he explains. I freeze. He is right. I'm not a perfect Divergent; I am not selfless, or peaceful, or honest or intelligent. I'm just...Dauntless. _He's wrong_, Beatrice thinks angrily,_ you're all of them. If you weren't, you wouldn't have your ability to change time, would you_. She has a point, but I don't feel any better. Ethan senses my mood and probably tries to comfort me mentally.  
"However", the Controller continues, "she doesn't think so. She has always thought she has the aptitude for all the factions, so she might be anywhere. My first guess is that she's in the Sixth faction, since the Divergent population is largest there. Her dark-haired friend Ethan Lionstern, however, would probably feel the most confident in the Erudite. He, unlike Juliet, is intelligent and tactical. After all, he's David's son. He's dangerous, but you have to catch him alive; he's probably the best way to get her do what we want", he keeps talking and both, Ethan and I, stiffen. _That monster will not touch either of you or I'll kill him slowly, _Beatrice rages, _is he David's son? The same David's who killed me?_ She continues_. Yeah, David Lionstern, the head of the Bureau. Such a dickhead, he is. Ethan hates him_, I tell her and she agrees. The Controller starts to speak again, "They defiantly haven't separated, and that's for sure. I'm no psychologist, but they have to be pretty close after all they've done. So, the most logical option is they are in the Sixth faction since they're both Divergent. The second option is Erudite, though Juliet would fail their initiation. Third one is Dauntless. They've both got aptitude there and shooting people doesn't seem to bother them. I think we can almost rule out Candor and Amity. Amity's simply too close to my minor and they've got too many secrets for Candor. The fourth option, then, is Abnegation. It's a neutral place, and probably safe too. So the four of you who are going to Abnegation, Dauntless, Erudite and Sixth; keep your eyes open. You two have to search for them too, but not as passionately as them", he says. I feel like ice. They're coming for me, they're coming for us. We won't be safe. I need Four. He's the only one who can make us invisible. He can tell the others to pretend they haven't ever heard about us. But the only way to get his help is to tell the truth. And that's impossible.  
"But, boss", someone starts, "where are you going?" Please, please stay away from Dauntless, I beg in my mind.  
"I'm visiting every faction, of course. Even though the stupid girl shoot my leg shitty, I'm still able to travel in the city without a problem", he replies. I'm terrified, but I have to admit I feel little satisfaction for shooting his leg, although it should've been his head. _It was too dark to aim well,_ Beatrice notes. The group mumbles something in low voices and I keep as silent as the dead.  
"What are you planning to do with them, boss?" Somebody asks and I try to hear clearly. Ethan tenses up and I know he's as desperate to find out their plans as I am.  
"Well, even though we haven't succeeded with her nature, she still is a pure Divergent. She can bring people in coma back to us, like she did with you, Victor"-Victor's one of them? I remember clearly how the Controller forced me to wake him up from his coma. I saved his fucking life, and he's going to kill me, or worse?! "And if she's that I have succeed. I don't give a shit about her personality as long as I can control her, and with the boy it'll be easy. I'll find out her personal ability, and make her use it, whatever it is, to win the revolution. She'll be the key of destroying all the genetically damaged people", he says coldly. I feel pure hatred towards him. I will never, NEVER, help him with his revolution. If only I had a gun... _That selfish, stupid, pervert bastard_, Beatrice thinks her feelings mutual with mine. The group speaks in agreement and Ethan squeezes my hand so tight it'll be surely bruised tomorrow. In that case if we see tomorrow.  
"Boss, I think it's time to go. The Erudite headquarters are over there", someone says. I'm relieved. They're going away.  
"Yeah, it's time to go. We'll see again tomorrow. Remember the plan", Controller says, and they start to jump off one at a time. When everyone has gone, we keep silent for five minutes, just in case someone would've stayed here.  
"Juliet... what are we going to do?" Ethan's desperate voice breaks the silence. I shiver; Ethan never sounds like that. He has to be just as scared as I am. "I don't know. Can we just... run away? Leave the city?" I ask, my voice sounding weird.  
"They would find us. They would find us anywhere we would go", Ethan says.  
"No they wouldn't! I'm sure world is a large place. Could I go back the day we escaped and shoot him?" I wonder. He moves so quickly to me and grabs my shoulders that I startle. He looks deep in my eyes and says, "No. You have to promise me you won't do that. It would risk everything we have, if you failed. What if he'd find out about your skill? No, the only thing we can do is to tell Four the truth. He can protect us."


	17. Wake-up call

Tobias POV  
_Tris wraps her arms around my neck and kisses me without hesitation. I strike my fingers through her hair and she murmurs in my ear, "Tobiass, I love you more than anything." I deepen the kiss and mourn. It's been so long, so long. "I thought you were dead", I whisper, shivering with the word 'dead'. She looks into my eyes.  
"Of course I'm not dead. It was just a bad dream", she mumbles. I bury my face into her neck.  
"More than bad. It was the worst thing I could ever imagine. Promise me you'll never leave me", I beg. She smiles gently.  
"I'll never leave you, Tobias. I love you more than anything in the world", she says.  
I hear two loud bangs and tense up. Tris doesn't move, she just smiles and vanishes. No_. No, no, no! Of course this had to be a goddamn dream, again! The banging continues and I force myself to open my eyes. It's the door; someone's trying to violently destroy my poor door. And the same person interrupted my perfect dream. I am going to kill them, whoever they might be. I step to the door and open it with great force. I expect Zeke to be laughing there with a stupid idea like going to zip-lining, but instead of him, I see two of my initiates; Juli and Ethan.  
"Do you understand that waking up your instructor in the middle of the night won't do any good for you?" I ask with the coldest voice I can make. Ethan winces but Juli stays still.  
"This is very important. It's a matter of life and death", she says with a quiet tone. I raise my eyebrows.  
"A matter of life and death became into your mind in the middle of the night? It couldn't, like, wait for tomorrow?" I ask, still a little annoyed because of my dream. Well, I would've had to wake up anyway. When they don't reply, I shrug.  
"Whatever. Come in, it's not like any of us could get sleep anymore."

I watch the kids come in and look at each other. They sit down and Juli asks, "Have you ever heard about a legend of perfect Divergence?" My puzzlement must show clearly on my face, because she sighs.  
"Clearly you haven't. Well, it's said that if someone's genes are so absolutely pure they have aptitude for each faction, they'll have abilities beyond human understanding. They can fight any simulation, contact the mind that's wondering between life and death, for example people in coma AND they'll get the personal ability, like a superpower, before they turn ten", she explains. I have to admit it sounds great, but it's just a stupid old legend I have never heard of. How could it be a matter of life and death? Besides, a perfect Divergent has never existed.  
"Sounds fascinating, but why are you telling me this?" I ask. Juli raises her head and Tris's eyes lock into mine. No, not Tris's, Juli's, I remind myself.  
"Because", she begins and takes a deep breath, "I am one." I choke. This was unexpected. Juli doesn't seem to be anything but Dauntless. Abnegation, Amity? Candor? No way. This is one of Zeke's lame pranks.  
"Yeah, sure you are", I say sarcastically, "if there's nothing more, I'll go back to sleep."  
"There is more of it, Tobias Eaton, a lot more", she says coldly. I wince; I'm not used to hearing my real name in the Dauntless.  
"Fine. Tell me", I say, probably sounding bored.  
"For decades the scientists have been divided into two groups. The other half wanted to destroy all the Divergents; the other one wanted to create a perfect one and use them. I don't know which is worse, really. As you know, Divergents still exist. The people who wanted us dead failed. But so did the other half. At least that's what everyone thinks. But sixteen years ago, a very small group of scientists did it. They mixed the genes of strongly Divergent and strongly non-Divergent population. One of the Divergents, actually, was Natalie Prior", she explains. Now I'm sure. She knows something about Tris. Her speech sounds crazy, but... why would she lie? She's not a bad person, or then she's a very good actor. I don't say anything and she continues, "They made me. They succeeded. And sometimes I hate them about it. But some days, when I love my life, it's hard. How can you hate the people who gave you life? I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that way", she says when she sees my face. Okay, she surprises me again. She knows also about Marcus. I just shake my head and she carries on, "Anyways, it wasn't really that nice place to live. They taught me to be their perfect weapon. I learned how to shoot. I learned how to study. They wanted my Dauntless and Erudite grow strong. But they trusted my Candor, Abnegation and Amity too much. I escaped with Ethan who had been my friend since I was five. His father, David Lionstern -yes, that David, don't interrupt me please- was a good friend of the Controller and they decided to raise Ethan with me, since he has aptitude for three factions. Well, we escaped and came here. We shot and blew things off when we left and I thought we'd be pretty safe. Until tonight, when we went to a train ride", she says. I raise my eyebrows.  
"You did what?"  
"Don't be too dramatic. I'm sure you're thankful for our honesty", she says and rolls her eyes.  
"Your honesty", Ethan notes.  
"Yeah, well, whatever, we saw the Controller there and he commanded a group of people to go after us on Visiting day. They're coming here", she ends her speech. They both look pale.  
"And you want me to protect you against them? You want me to kill them?" I ask, and Ethan's eyes widen.  
"No", Juli says, "if they were be killed, they'd be dead already. We want you to tell the initiates not to say a word about our existence."  
Her plan doesn't sound bulletproof, but I have to admit killing people doesn't sound tempting.  
"Ok, I'll do what I can. But I can't guarantee you they'll do as I say", I tell them. Juli nods and Ethan looks pale. They turn to leave, but before the door has closed, I call "Juli", and she turns around, eyes questioning. "There's more to the story, isn't there?" I ask. She hesitates for a moment, but nods. "Yes. I'll tell you someday." And then they're gone


	18. Visiting Day

**A/N I'm so sorry, I haven't been updating on ages! It's just that I have too much to do and too little time, writing new chapters is almost impossible. I'd really need a vacation right now… Well, here's finally a new chapter! I really wouldn't have time for this one, either, but I had to write for LoveSarge's amazing comments. **

Juli POV

So today's the Visiting Day. It's been a few days since I told Four about my Divergence, and nothing much has happened during that time. I've won a few fights, eaten a lot of cake and hanged out with Henry. He's such a nice guy, I guess he's Divergent and has some Amity in his nature. "JUL!" Ethan's shout interrupts my thinking. I turn quickly at him, but he doesn't seem to be afraid or tense. I sigh. "You really should stop alarming me for nothing. Especially today", I say and he rolls his eyes. "Really, Four promised to keep us hidden. They'll never find us", he says confidently. I wouldn't be so sure. We keep walking towards the training room, where all the other initiates are already waiting for us and Four. I take a quick look behind, just in case Four would be there, following us. He's not and I raise my eyebrows. It isn't like him to be late. We walk to Henry, Jake and Emily, and Henry hugs me tightly, like he has done since… I don't even remember. Ethan rolls his eyes, like he knows something that I don't. "Are you jealous?" I ask him and grin. "Of you? Sorry, dear, you're not _that_ pretty and I can hug you anytime I want to", he replies and I make a face. "Of Henry, dumbass!" I say and he wrinkles his nose. "I'm not those boys", he mumbles and I chuckle. Jake fakes a gasp. "You aren't? I thought you and I had something special!" Ethan's just about to answer something, when Four arrives.

"Sorry I'm late; I had several things to do. Now, if you listen to me a second, there are some rules about the Visiting Day you have to know. If you don't obey the rules, you'll be kicked out of your initiation. The most important rule is that you don't tell anyone, _anyone, _about the other initiates, unless they're your friends and you know they're here with their families. As you may well know, some of us don't want to spend time with our families. Everyone has their own reasons. You mustn't even tell about their existence, got it?" Everyone nods and I change looks with Ethan. _So this is how he keeps us hidden,_ Beatrice thinks. _Not a bad idea and explanation at all. _I agree, our names weren't mentioned and that's a good thing. "The second rule is that you mustn't tell anything about our initiation system or your scores. And, of course, don't talk to suspicious strangers, don't jump to the chasm, don't be idiots, blah blah… That was about everything, you have a day off today, let's get some cake", Four says, and marches to the dining hall without a second look at us.

"So, Juli, are your parents coming?" Henry asks me happily. I close my eyes and reply, "I don't think so." Henry seems to accept that, but Jake looks suspicious. "Why not? Are they angry because you transferred to Dauntless? In which faction do you come from, anyways?" He asks curiously. Sometimes I get really fed up with his questions, and this is one of those times. I look straight in his eyes. "Because they died in the war. I come from Amity", I say, stand up quickly and walk away. Fuck, fuck, fuck, I screwed up, I think. Henry has to come from Amity, he knows I'm not from there. Well, Ethan figures something out and cleans my mess, like he always does. I walk to the dormitories, and suddenly start to laugh. Amity? Me? Even the most stupid person in the world wouldn't buy that. I'm nothing like Amity. I sit on my bed and ask Beatrice, _Can I spend my Visiting Day with you, big sister?_ She laughs quietly and answers, _Of course you can, but… I had an idea a while ago._ I mentally ask her to continue, her ideas are usually good, or at least better than mine. And they're defiantly better than Ethan's! _Well,_ she says,_ I thought if you'd like to meet my…_our_ mom,_ and waits for me to reply. Well, this surprises me._ How? Isn't she dead? I can't talk to the other dead but you, you know?_ I ask, slightly confused. She should know that. _Yeah, I know, but isn't it because of our Divergence and genes?_ She says, _my mom has even more mutual genes with you than I have. And she's probably more Divergent, too._ I think about it for a moment. _Well, why didn't she come here when she died? Why did you?_ I ask her. _I don't know. Maybe it's because she was ready to die,_ she admits._ And you weren't? _I question her. _I thought I was, _she says, _but I was wrong._ I sigh. _Fine, do what you can to bring her here._

I wait for a moment on my bed and nothing happens. Beatrice's quiet and probably tries to summon her mother here without any idea what she's doing. Suddenly a heavy headache hits me, and it takes all my strength not to scream. I collapse in my bed and close my eyes. What the hell did Beatrice do? Does she want to destroy my poor brains? Then, out of nowhere, another, unfamiliar pain appears next to mine. _That's not Beatrice; _I think with blind terror, _is she gone? Beatrice, Beatrice? Where are you? Come back! _I shout, but she doesn't reply. Instead, I hear another voice say calmly, _She's okay. She'll be coming back in a moment, but she wanted to give us some time. My name is Natalie Prior, I'm Beatrice's –and yours, mother. _I didn't think it would work. I wanted it to work. But now when I finally have the chance to have a mother, I don't know what to say. I don't even know her.


End file.
